Zucchini blossoms two ways

You probably don’t need another knucklehead food writer going on and on about the culinary wonder that is the zucchini blossom.

So here’s the deal. I’ll promise not to be tiresome about how great these things are if you promise to overnight ship to me (chilled, of course) every male blossom in the garden that you do not intend to eat. (Yes, the males don’t produce any fruit on the plant and so they are the ones to, er, snip. And who are you calling a food writer, anyway?)

Long story short, I score a lot of blossoms this time of year. Rarely does a petal go to waste.

Here’s last night’s batch, all cleaned up (the stamens, or reproductive organs of the flowers, removed) and ready to go — prepared a couple different ways.

The battered and fried way

Fried zucchini blossoms could not be simpler to prepare. Just mix together some flour and club soda, salt and pepper, then lightly coat the blossoms. (Make the mixture on the thin side and you’ll get a lighter result, like tempura; that’s how I do it.)

Drop them into hot (not just warm) olive oil and fry until one side’s slightly crisp.

Turn and let the other side have a chance to crisp, and you’re done.

Let the blossoms cool a minute or two, then have at it.

They won’t last long.

The whatever comes to my mind way

I saved four of the blossoms from being battered and fried, but the buggers got tossed into a pan anyway — this time with olive oil and garlic, walnuts and a little hot pepper.

In the freezer were some of my homemade squid ink ravioli, filled with ricotta and walnuts.

And so there you go.

Oh, one other thing. Be a pal, would you, and shoot me an email with the tracking number after you ship off those blossoms.

I promise to take good care of them.